Recovering self-identity amidst long term unemployment

This topic, recovery from long-term unemployment, gets harder for me to write about the longer the tail of the “Great Recession” drags on. As a career counselor in private practice, I see the devastating effects on my clients who have been unemployed six months or more, particularly those in their forties and fifties. The frustration and shame is etched in the contours of sorrowful faces, down-turned shoulders and low voices that come from multiple rejections and being forced to tap retirement accounts to meet current living expenses. I haven’t just observed the personal suffering and loss in others: my own most recent layoff occurred in mid-2011, so the shock, depression and daily struggle to adjust and re-invent are in my bones.From years of work in career counseling and outplacement, I am well-versed in how to teach my clients all the ways to access the “hidden job market,” network effectively, and find new opportunities. But the sheer scale of this Recession—at the current rate of adding 144,000 new jobs a month it will take 15 years just to get back to pre-recession levels—suggests the employment landscape has been altered by a tsunami. Unfortunately, the latest April-June quarter showed job growth at only half that monthly average.Without a job, who am I? While the best-prepared or fortunate few may get back into the workforce at some semblance of their former employment, for many—middle-aged men in particular—the reduction in income and job status may prove to be permanent. More importantly, the involuntary job loss affects not just financial viability, but cuts to the core of identity and meaning in life. This is succinctly captured by a recent book title, Without a Job, Who Am I? (Abraham Twerski)Life as those former job holders knew it, and the world of work, will never be the same again. Indeed, counselors like me are advised to recommend that “all future jobs are temporary” and can end at any time.If you are dealing with such a radical, frequently painful change in your external world, you may be forced to face inward, to your self-identity, the last remaining place that is under your control. This possibility of self-renewal is essential to moving forward. Job loss and sustained unemployment sap confidence and undermine quality of life, feeding a vicious cycle that inhibits employment prospects as well.Proceed in parallel. What to do? With clients who come to me, I proceed in parallel tracks—develop and execute a job search campaign that is more focused and effective, and help clients adapt to the major changes in their lives and rebuild their sense of meaning and identity. Job seeking for long-term displaced workers in this period of sustained record unemployment is, in itself, a subject for another article, let alone several counseling sessions. However, if we can progressively address the emotional, physical and even spiritual effects of job loss, then one can begin to reverse the spiral of self-doubt that stifles effective job-seeking behaviors.Is there an alternative to the status quo for the long-term unemployed? If I can help clients progressively address the deadening emotional, physical and even spiritual effects of job loss, then we can begin to reverse the spiral of self-doubt that undermines effective job-seeking behaviors. Following are a few ways to help accept the reality of job loss and its attendant disruption of lifestyle, family, relationships, etc. Once accepted, then we can get in touch with a shift in perspective, including some adjustments one can make to try on a new career and personal identity.Change of perspective. Often we are not aware of the values we operate under until our bubble bursts. Job loss and the struggle of long-term unemployment can cause us to re-evaluate. Instead of “Will I measure up to my neighbors and obtain the American Dream?” maybe we should ask why we even judge each other by material gain. Why do we overly identify with what we do rather than who we are? Can we possibly live fulfilled lives with less money? Instead of overly identifying with our jobs, what about giving more to the other roles in our lives as human beings such as parent, family member, volunteer, etc? As Elbert Hubbard reminds, “We work to become, not to acquire.” This is as an alternative approach that l, as well as my clients, am challenged to adopt in relation to the status quo and my life direction.Activity adjustment. Awareness of misguided values can begin to free up a consciousness that was formerly brainwashed by false aspects of our culture and possibly consumed with over-working. How do you recover your self-worth, your zest for living, while still unemployed (or at least in the time not spent looking for work)? In The Joy of Not Working, a whimsically titled and inspiring book, Ernie Zalinski suggests the loss of work makes apparent the need to replace three things:

• Structure
• Purpose
• Sense of Community

Since jobs inadvertently satisfy these needs, I find that my unemployed clients often need help filling the void. For instance, losing the structure provided by workplace routines can be unsettling to those now unemployed. As a result, clients may benefit from directed coaching about ways they can rebuild their own newly-rewarding routines: daily exercise, working as a volunteer, and taking college courses as well as scheduling job search activities.While having a purpose is subtler than structure needs, it is perhaps more essential to happiness and fulfillment. If a client is not aware of their purpose in life, then I may direct the client to exercises like writing a mission statement or to various forms of contemplation or readings to explore the deeper self. For many, meaning can be found in contribution, in living for something larger than self.And finally, because work tends to provide ready friends and after-work activities—one’s sense of community–the period between jobs will require deliberate cultivation of friends and social relationships if balance is to be restored. I have been surprised by how much support and validation my clients report after a referral to any of the numerous area job search support groups. And, seeking involvement with a group—be it church, community-related, interest or sport, etc—reduces isolation and can add structure and reinforce one’s sense of purpose.Let me bring this full circle: There is life after layoff and its personal, structure-altering and economic jolt. The inner work of realizing you are more than your job and rebuilding self-worth is essential to getting back on the career track after long term unemployment.